STAR/TRIBUNE
Article by: DAVID CRARY , Associated Press
NEW YORK - After 19 years hiding her relationship with an active-duty Army captain, Cathy Cooper is getting ready to exhale. On Tuesday, the policy known as "don't ask, don't tell" will expire. And Cooper will dare speak her love's name in public.
"This is life-changing," said Cooper, choking up. "I just want to be able to breathe — knowing I can call my partner at work and have a conversation without it having to be in code."
Much has been reported about the burdens that "don't ask" placed on gay and lesbian service members who risked discharge under the 1993 policy if their sexual orientation became known in the ranks. There's been less attention focused on their civilian partners, who faced distinctive, often relentless stresses of their own.
In interviews with The Associated Press, five partners recalled past challenges trying to conceal their love affairs, spoke of the joy and relief accompanying repeal, and wondered about the extent that they would be welcomed into the broader military family in the future.
Even with repeal imminent, the partners — long accustomed to secrecy — did not want to reveal the full identity of their active-duty loved ones before Tuesday.
Cooper, who works for a large private company, moved from the Midwest to northern Virginia to be near her partner's current Army post, yet couldn't fully explain to friends and colleagues why she moved. "It's been really difficult — it's really isolated us," she said. "I became much more introverted, more evasive."
Cooper said her partner's Army career is thriving, though she's had to hide a major component of her personal life.
"I don't know any of her co-workers," Cooper said. "She says, `You're the best part of me and I have to pretend you don't exist.'"
Looking ahead, Cooper is unsure how same-sex partners will be welcomed by the military establishment.
"Will it be, `Hey, come join all the family support programs'?" she wondered. "I'm not going to be so naive as to think that ... I'm just hoping the door is open."
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I respect gays, even thought i"m not agree with them i respect them but i think that if they are causing issues in the army they don't have to be allowed to get in, because they can distract the soldiers and also make them feel awkward so i agree that if they want to be in the army they have to keep their sexual preferences for themselves and go in the army, and if they start causing troubles, don't give them the privilege to go into the army
ReplyDeleteLucy M 7
I think that the don't ask don't tell policy should not have been repealed. I don't think they should be openly gay in the military because it may cause disturbances. It would awkward if someone ask a person if they were gay and they had to tell them. They might be treated more harshly if people know they are gay. The commanding officers might treat them differently.
ReplyDeleteTim M 7
I think that we should let anyone live out their dreams. If they want to help our government, nation, and the world make "peace" we should let them. We let men and women, African Americans and Whites, and people from any religion in the war. Whats wrong with who they prefer to couple with. Its called don't ask don't tell for a reason.
ReplyDeleteGretta B3
My opinion on this is that if a person is happy then let them be no matter what their sexuality is. You know, Everyone deserves that right! To be happy is one of the best human qualities. Who they decide to love isn't going to effent their performance in defending what they love. If we can let any race into the Military, then why not gays? They're people, too. I don't think they should have to hide their partner from everyone just because of some law... That's like a woman hiding her husband. It's not fair.
ReplyDeleteLissa F3
I think that gays should be able to openly be in the military' and not just the military but in their jobs and daily lives to.
ReplyDeleteErick L7
I think they shouldn't hide themselves. Gay is not their choice. And it's not their fault at all. They are just same person. They want to love with other. Even it is same gender or diffrent gender. Now it's more open about the gay, but still somewhere that we can't see, there are lots of bad glance to them.
ReplyDeleteThey have right to love and enjoy. I think it's not fair and we should accept them to our society. Not trun away from them.
Jin k7
I full agree with Erick. The gays should be able to do the same that everybody can do. I know that the gays passed for a dificults moments, but they are just the same person, like Jin said. They have rights to love whoever they want, such as man or woman. Today in 2011, if you atack one gay it is crime. So we have to open our mind and stop to thing just in ourself. Independent of our idea the gays just want more respect of the socity.
ReplyDeleteAlexia M.7
LAST COMMENT
ReplyDeleteI think that the repeal of Don't ask don't tell is a good thing for people People shouldn't hide who they are no matter what. It is important to be who you are.
ReplyDeleteJimmy P 7